How am I? Do you really want to know?

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“Dear Abby” once shared something sent to her about an older lady’s companions.  As I recall they were Arthur Itis, Charley Horse, Will Power and Ben Gay–all gentlemen with whom I have become intimately acquainted.

(In the interest of full disclosure, I’m barely acquainted with Will Power.  But the other men,  oh, boy!!)

Lately I have to bite my tongue before answering the standard social greeting, “How are you?”  Since you asked (you did, didn’t you?)….  I have sciatica, spondylolisthesis, sleep apnea and arthritis.  I survived breast cancer a while ago, but other than that haven’t dealt with many serious health problems over the years.

It would be helpful to have a checklist to hand to people who ask this question so that I could tailor my response accordingly.

The Maven’s Response Checklist – Subject:  “How Are You?”  Please check one:

  • ___ I’m just asking as a socially conventional question.  I see that you are alive, and that’s really all I’m interested in knowing.
  • ___ I am mildly interested, but don’t want much more than a vague response, like “okay” or “mezza, mezza” or whatever your particular culturally appropriate response might be.
  • ___ I’m interested, and would like some details, either good or bad, but I’m on my way to my doctor for my own problems, so don’t have a lot of time.
  • ___ I really care.  I want to know everything.  Please sign this HIPPA release so I can get your medical records.

If you think this is a good idea, you have my permission to print up your own cards!

 

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