“Dear Abby” once shared something sent to her about an older lady’s companions. As I recall they were Arthur Itis, Charley Horse, Will Power and Ben Gay–all gentlemen with whom I have become intimately acquainted.
(In the interest of full disclosure, I’m barely acquainted with Will Power. But the other men, oh, boy!!)
Lately I have to bite my tongue before answering the standard social greeting, “How are you?” Since you asked (you did, didn’t you?)…. I have sciatica, spondylolisthesis, sleep apnea and arthritis. I survived breast cancer a while ago, but other than that haven’t dealt with many serious health problems over the years.
It would be helpful to have a checklist to hand to people who ask this question so that I could tailor my response accordingly.
The Maven’s Response Checklist – Subject: “How Are You?” Please check one:
- ___ I’m just asking as a socially conventional question. I see that you are alive, and that’s really all I’m interested in knowing.
- ___ I am mildly interested, but don’t want much more than a vague response, like “okay” or “mezza, mezza” or whatever your particular culturally appropriate response might be.
- ___ I’m interested, and would like some details, either good or bad, but I’m on my way to my doctor for my own problems, so don’t have a lot of time.
- ___ I really care. I want to know everything. Please sign this HIPPA release so I can get your medical records.
If you think this is a good idea, you have my permission to print up your own cards!