This past week I had to spend a long day in the ER and a night in the hospital due to nosebleeds that wouldn’t stop. The treatment of choice was a Rhino-rocket, which I will refrain from describing, but anyone who really wants to know can consult Dr. Google!

In the morning, after a night with a lot of discomfort and almost no sleep, I stood in the window, looking out on concrete, brick walls and air conditioning units. I wanted to pray Modah ani*, but the words stuck in my mouth. I did not feel grateful. I struggled to feel God’s presence at all.

Eventually I was able to compose my own prayer, which was just published on Ritualwell.

https://www.ritualwell.org/ritual/modah-ani-hospital

*Modah ani (I am grateful) is a traditional Jewish prayer said upon waking–before even getting out of bed. It’s based on the belief that when you are sleeping your soul leaves your body. The prayer is thanking God for returning your soul when you wake.